Maybe, just maybe...
October 29th 2006 23:17
I had a call from a friend last night - she gave me a hard time for not keeping in contact with her more often.
Sometimes I really feel like people just don't get it. I've been sick with various stuff (adrenal stress, CFS, migraines etc.) For a couple of years now. I just CANNOT be the social butterfly I once was. Talking in the phone can trigger a headache, so I tend to avoid long phone conversations, something I once loved.
I also got married, and I don't have the time to spend anymore as we try to stretch ourselves between 2 very different sets of friends. If I had the energy I'd just throw parties and invite the lot like I used to, but I don't, and as we have two households squashed into a 2 bedroom unit, we have no space for a party either.
I had last week off work as I had a "floating module" for the course I'm doing. 9am - 6pm days, and I had to work before I went to college and most of the time work when I got home too.. AND it was seven days in a row, on top of the jetlag I STILL have.
I'm feeling annoyed because I'm doing the best I can, but people expect more.
And sometimes I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe I've kicked this thing. And that I'm "all better now". It would be easy to just be guilted into acting like nothing is wrong with me. To try to keep up the phone calls and parties etc. But I simply can't without it taking a huge toll on my health. I tried it. It doesn't work and I just end up more tired and sicker and off work some more, and I just can't afford to do that at the moment.
Sometimes, I just wish people understood.
Sometimes I really feel like people just don't get it. I've been sick with various stuff (adrenal stress, CFS, migraines etc.) For a couple of years now. I just CANNOT be the social butterfly I once was. Talking in the phone can trigger a headache, so I tend to avoid long phone conversations, something I once loved.
I also got married, and I don't have the time to spend anymore as we try to stretch ourselves between 2 very different sets of friends. If I had the energy I'd just throw parties and invite the lot like I used to, but I don't, and as we have two households squashed into a 2 bedroom unit, we have no space for a party either.
I had last week off work as I had a "floating module" for the course I'm doing. 9am - 6pm days, and I had to work before I went to college and most of the time work when I got home too.. AND it was seven days in a row, on top of the jetlag I STILL have.
I'm feeling annoyed because I'm doing the best I can, but people expect more.
And sometimes I keep thinking that maybe, just maybe I've kicked this thing. And that I'm "all better now". It would be easy to just be guilted into acting like nothing is wrong with me. To try to keep up the phone calls and parties etc. But I simply can't without it taking a huge toll on my health. I tried it. It doesn't work and I just end up more tired and sicker and off work some more, and I just can't afford to do that at the moment.
Sometimes, I just wish people understood.
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